Dear (insert name here),

this is me. talking at you.

ok go, ok go, ready go.



Lisa-
hi lisa from ice-road truckers.

i like you.

i usually don't like tiny people on principle, since i am tall and they bug me like ants.

but you show up gross-old-men-truckers, and that is funny.

and when that chain or whatever broke, and almost hit you in the face and killed you, you laughed, which was kind of awesome.

i like that you are always positive. and i like to watch you, like you are some strange bug creature, because i find it amazing that anyone can be that cheery in the face of both COLD and DRIVING.



Eol-
since you are avoiding me, i might as well say my piece here.

i can tolerate all kinds of ugliness in people. but don't lie to me, BS me, insult my intelligence...

if you are covered in blood, and you tell me you chopped some people up, and you liked it, and you rolled around in their blood and giggled-- i can swallow that.

i can stomach it a LOT easier than a blood-covered-eol giving me a sob story about how he tripped and accidentally gutted someone, and is full of righteous (and affected) indignation that now his knife is dirty...

when i told you that i think you are a dishonest person, that was not some gauntlet thrown down in challenge. that was me saying- i don't care, but don't try to twist your silly realities onto ME. i am not some dumb-as-a-post-Gigi. you can smile encouragingly all you want, and tell me that poo is pudding, but i'm not going to take a bite.



tran-
you are another tiny-person-exception.

yay, cake, air-pat.

i don't really have any thoughts for you atm, because you are one of the few people i actually talk to outside of my head. but, i didn't want you to feel left out.



amy-
i never email you anymore.

it's hard, i don't know what to say or ask.

but i wonder about you and Wolf, and what you are doing, and if you really are happy like it says on facebook. i have nothing new to say, but you are still in my thoughts.



Ick-
LICK!

i miss you.

i hope you are somewhere warm that possesses an adequate number of spoons.

hug, tackle, snug, pounce.

i wanted to take a pic to send you, of a plant in the yard, but garret's camera phone is out of town (with garret).

can you guess?

it's a thistle. quite a monstrous, prickly thing, with little purple flowers.

i am glad you have discovered the pros of warm weather and shorts. i also like to sit in cars that are too hot. there is thrum there.



Krex-
your blog has many tasty words.

at first i thought you were a GENIUS for making up Etsy, as it is the best word ever, (but then i saw it was not your site, just a marketplace.)

still, even though you did not make up Etsy and Racktacular, you have accumulated these delicious things, so, yay.



Garret-
sigh.

i hate you.

because i cannot write anything for you, to you, and i cannot show off for you on a verbal, intellectual level.

You can't appreciate me in this medium.

i hate because we cannot connect or bond through words, and words, books, even song lyrics- that is where all my emotions connect, that is a big part of who i am, and you are missing it.



Carrie-
quit telling me disgusting things.

quit telling me sad things.

quit telling me half-baked ideas, like that i could become a size 2 if i pumped breast milk.

hush and go feed your starving baby.



Jess-
you are one of the stupidest people on the planet.

it will be a TRAVESTY if you become a psychologist, you will ruin so many lives.

for the sake of humanity, please just become a serial killer.

you are a two-faced b**** with no compassion.

i get ill when you speak, you embody everything that is wrong with the world, everything that is wrong with society, everything that is wrong with the mental health system.

please don't pursue psychology, please get hit by a truck.




Becky-
it is weird you have 4 kids and a business.

it makes me feel out of place in my own life... to have known you when we were more like equals, and now to feel that i am still like a child, someone that has not grown up with everyone else.

i am glad you are happy and successful, but jealous too.




UPS man-
i really, really, really hope you bring my new INDO board today.

i waited and waited impatiently yesterday. PLEASE come today. i don't want to wait anymore.

PLEASE!!!!