I love it when my body knows words that I don't. It's such a
cool phenomenon. Proof that some part of language is inborn. I love when I am
fixated on an idea, and my brain will keep throwing a word at me. For example,
the word "seams." Seams! Seams! "Seams" will fill what I am
trying to write about. This will start to get annoying because it will not be
exactly what I am talking about.
I think this happens because what I really want is not a
word I know, or it is not a word that is named. So my brain will just keep
insisting, SEAMS!!!!! because that's all I've got. But then, sometimes, the
cool miracle stuff happens. And sometimes I misspell it just right, or
sometimes my brother will explain the proper pronunciation of the word meme,
or whatever, and BAM... Semes. The proper definition of the sound I was
searching for.
This is why autocorrecting spell-check is evil, because
sometimes you need the sounds of innate truth to discover the words. Another
example, I wrote "epherial" the other day, which the computer insists
is a misspelling. I looked it up and tragically confirmed that no such word
exists. This was very disappointing, as epherial was exactly what I meant.
I did NOT mean imperial or empirical. The word ethereal
seemed close in taste, and I felt its definition was complementary but not
exact. Ephemeral felt VERY close, but at the same time, its definition felt
almost like an antonym. I did not mean something fleeting, which is the
definition of ephemeral. The thing I wanted did feel fleeting in the sense that
it was difficult to grasp, like something flickering on the periphery, but it
was definitely not fleeting in the sense of being short lived. My non-word "epherial"
felt like something eternally fleeting and diaphanous but also eternally vast
and everlasting. More like an obscured rock at the bottom of a pool of smoke rather
than the smoke itself.
Then, I discovered the word empyreal. Chink. Clink. That's
it! Fleeting and devouring as fire, the word has a pyre right inside of it. My
imaginary rock turned out to be a see-through crystal sphere. Empyreal-- a word
meaning celestial, pertaining to the highest heaven, ancient, made of pure
light, sublime.
The dictionary is the best book ever.
