Maybe the emotion is leaking from my head and affecting the physical world. I was just in the shower, thinking, and the shower-head kind of exploded and gushed sideways and loud. The startle of it almost made me cry. But I didn't. But almost. And then when i picked up the shampoo, tried to pour it into my hand, i almost missed because my hand was shaking so. But i didn't miss. But almost. Sometimes i think i am all calmed down, and then i will notice how i can barely hold a towel, how i don't feel the weak and shaky until i see the towel shake.
i am racing and racing, my thoughts are pacing. i am egg. i am fragile. i am so full of thoughts and talking. Poor little caged thoughts.
i spoke to someone yesterday. they said-- i am a quiet person.
and i said-- why?
because i really wanted to know. because i wanted there to be a REASON.
but all they said back was-- because i just am.
which was not a very exciting or dramatic response. and i tried to pretend a bit, that there might be more to it, because of course, if you are quiet, and then you give a long-winded explanation as to why that is so, well, that is not very quiet. but i do not think they said "because i just am" to be ironic or funny, i think that was just the end of the story. which was disappointing.
all the real-life people i know are still imaginary in every other sense.
who are you?