I could really use some help with my own song. Sign. 

  1. (Note to Self : Amanda, I love you.)
  2. (You love I, Amanda : Self to Note.)

Ok. So noted. But can we get back to that q-tip-pen-of a tippy toe?

Oh, first, go back, and more intro...

Start-Into-2:40pm 4.12.2012.

Amanda, you woke up a few minutes ago. This is a note to yourself, all slopped out hap-py-hazard, so you can go back later and get this all sorted right into some sort of sembelence.

And today, the sort is just all-- Remembered rememberence...

Bleh. And today is only 4 minutes or so later, and Garret called, so you were curious to see if that was important... so... you asked, Hello? Do you want something?

And Garret did not, he was just being sweet, and he just said that no he had just wanted to call and say that he loved you. And this was distracting, but yay for Garrets, so you really did try REAL hard to get the point, but, you were just like... um? Yes? How can I help you? And he got all huffy that you asked if he had any questions and you guys kinda got into a huffy-pout-snit at eeach other, but luckily you recalled, AMANDAJOY BE NICE!!!, which you are still a work in progress on, but you went so far at least today to take a deep breath and say, "I love you." I what I when has hoped was a sweet voice, and simply hung up...

Oh. Haha. Yeah, yeah Jax-s-to-s-position-s, Jack, I do see the more in that...


Ready as you'll ever be?
Ready aim fire then, carry on...

Let's return to last night... when Amanda Joy was thinking about the small baby math of it, some of which she doesn't know words for, so she makes some more up... and she tries to Recall where she has already been in the story, and where the Math got down to brass tacks last time...

= D - earth = A death of "undefind" places in Space =

Also, Earth + D = Both Death and Dearth and Ear and Earth'D and ... "The Train Never Arrived = The Train is ALWAYS arriving = Ding! Ding! Ding! is this your endstop? It's enough to make anyone a little Dingy from the form of the Dins. That is why id is so Humand to look back, because the SENSE is only found in the REFLECTION. Sometimes the story is about being obediant. Sometimes it is about looking back if you really really really do want to see the face of someone... but, be aware, that even though salt of the earth could be good, too much salt is appaerntly abd bad for somethings, like maybe mermaids, and maybe the ocean just needs MORE salt to get those poor little frozen stick-people out of the freezer. This calls for a cat who is lofty and high above his own station in life... where might I find such a mad-cap-cap'n-ahab-piratical-cat?! Thankfully, eXzacxtly pounced one up for me. I Ahoy I salute I pass by in the dark I call me the ring of 'Swish-my-Ell I you other lonely boats in the dark I do not recommen dt AVOIDING the Gaps, but I do reccommend MINDING them I do recomment KNOWING what is in them and I am working on knowing which bits are simply typos...

Phone again. Wait. I was too late... I missed a call from Greg. Hmmm. But this recalled me to my generic ringtone, which is a Distillers song...

Yeah. DIstillers.

Think a lot about trains and subways and "mind the Gap" being more than just a funny expression, but MORE too, DIvide and DIvisions and which spits are bad and which splits of the trains go to good places. There is no end to the train. It is not that...

This is a work in progress. This is a song unfinished. There is no end to the train.

There is no end to greatness... all those swirled off eddying currents? Well. When is sometimes Current.

First lesson to hold close to the chest... Learn : Play Dictionary.



If Truth is not what you think...Well. There is probably MORE to the story.

Mind the Gap.
Come Back!
Death is just the stopendstop.
And place hold the spaces-right.

(Then you need more depth and dimension at this both-way bit-split, because you have to see both the spin and the still and the door and the stopper coming OPEN and the opening and the flip and the Top going OUT and staying, still, right, everywhere.)

See? No?

Hmmm. Well. LOOK at stopend some more maybe.

(Or just go look at a hopeful POP-tart wanting to get out of a Toaster.)

Split the watermelon open yet?

St____ d?

(Self who needs encouragement; Amanda Loves to Win. I will win. I will win. I will win. I will be happy SO HARD; I will Love Amanda set to Rights.)

Well. Heh. I certainly like to do Hard Things the Hard Way, Amanda who disliked Robert Frost because you were INSISTANT that you would prefer to take BOTH roads... but not so argued the teacher because the teacher said you can only pick one path and there is no going back and reetracting our own steps and do-overs, because apparently that teacher did know NOTHING about ANYTHING, like, and for example, how MOOT does Mean something worth fighting for, Moot is DEBATE, and Moot is NOT-irrelvant. Shh, pay no attention to that man behind the curtain... NO I WILL NOT SHUSH! DO NOT SHUSH ME YOU SNEAKY EYED TRICKSEE!!

Where is a lawnmower when you need one?

Bleh, I am too-tiny-small to interpret all this growing gramineous grass...

This is just for me. This is not prophetic for you. But this is the trick of the rhetoric. I believe in God, I believe in Me. Then, I just play, and look back at what I see. But my mess of a life unsorted into syn-taxed may NOT be the way for the You who later Looks Back.

This is the trick of may be letting it all be a mess and having faith in the form and then LOOK BACK and See... Oh. Yes. That's maybe where I was going with that,,,ing... 
Each re-write re-tunes and re-finds; but it's sometimes important to hold onto all of the bits and scraps.

Don't let the train just circle and circle and vulture to nowhere solely for the fun of it.

Pick a goal. Pick a destination. Then get to that WhenXWhere.

Sign. This is hard... I haven't even begun to get near all the mad-scribbles I drew at the When-point Before This.

Sigh... They ended with this... "THIS IS A WHEN TO WHERE."

The baby-Math--
D id for Death.
Oh No! Sad Face!
D id for Doubt.
Doubt? Huh? Oh! Ok! DIstreacleStraction....


Huh? Who? Wha?

Oh, Look! A Ponny Corn... la la la... E is for EAT, yum!

Well. Not just. But also Too.

E = where roads cross into bones and the sh ape of X forms up... 

1 comment:

Amanda said...

Oh my. Text from Carrie just Now...

"Jenna was talking on her toy phone and said: Hello, dear! Do you have a phone in there with you baby Emily? You do?

Now she is calling planet mars..."

Welll. At least my brother and my neice get it (I spelled her wrong to keep out the Lice. Wink.)