she screams, she screams, she screams. amanda hates people. amanda hates guessing. amanda hates the word GUESS, and people who want her to guess, and people who say "guess what..." and don't ever complete the thought until 5 minutes later, and amanda* hopes serial killers find these people and slowly kill them, and revive them, and them kill them again, and that the nice serial killer will grin at them and say... GUESS what I am going to do to you next....

because THEN i bet they would get to feel what it is like to have your brain not shut off.

like amanda, when someone annoyingly says, guess what i saw when i opened the refrigerator...

and her brain starts to yell at her...

mold! mouse! cheese! milk! eggs! light! cold! ketchup! mustard! mayo! dead-guy! brain! tongue! roast! fish! chicken! money! phone! sandwich! butter! juice! orange! celery! lettuce! leftover-gravy...

all too-fast, too-fast and panicky because she does not know. and she does not like to not-know.

and the yelling does not stop until the sadist says... nothing.

which is extra upsetting because her brain had not thought of that answer yet.

i don't want to guess. i don't want to have to run through all the possibilities. and if someone says guess, that is what i have to do. if they don't just TELL me, i have to think of every possibility before it is safe to let that thought go.

and even then, amanda can't really be SURE she has though of everything, and she might have to wake up 2 weeks later, thinking MEATLOAF! because she left it off the list.


i want that nice serial killer to find them.

and smile at them.

and say- guess what happens next.

and see if they can NOT-think about it.


(*freudian typed my own name as aMADa four times before i noticed and could then spell it amanda. plus, kept spelling brain as bain.)

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