i'm missing Sagira today.
found this note i wrote about her a couple months before she died:
2/29/12. sagira is a snookerpoo pushing her weight so hard into me and little huffle puffy grumbles and snarks and snookerpooger puggle buggering into my belly. Pushing her mean little hate-love.
i guess all Sphynx cats huff like dramatic teenagers, because Lieven does the huffy sighs too.
i have a new story idea that is percolating. with a Sphynx.
thinking up ideas is fun, committing them to paper is work.
it's hard to coax myself into working. because it feels very depressing to write something that then never goes anywhere. stories are meant to be read. if i can't get anyone to read them, and if i can't figure out how to write an amazing query letter that makes someone take notice and want to be my agent, and if i can't figure out how to improve and flawlessly edit my work by myself, which i can't, i need help, then... blah and depression and everything feels stupid and everything sucks.
stuck. stuck. stuck.
i don't want to abandon Alienated. but there isn't anything else i can do with it.
i make up a lot of stories i never write down. like romances for example. (yes, i read all kinds of books, even silly romance novels.) anyway, there are a bunch that are set in supposedly Victorian times or whatever-- when girls had debuts and coming out balls and lots of people to do their hair and stuff. and there's always a "rake" and everything is always super hilariously predictable and corny. and you always read them and think- um, i'm pretty sure it was NOT like that at all. So anyway, i thought up this ridiculous character who writes romance novels and then she figures out how to go back in time, except instead of doing all of the millions of interesting things you could do with such a cool power, she just goes back in time to do research for her romance novels. she's actually pretty unlikable to begin with. but her comeuppance improves her. because of course there are not lovable rakes around every corner and nothing works out like it's supposed to.
i have a lot of ideas that entertain me for a few hours but i don't love them enough to actually put time and effort into them.
my new sphynx kitty idea might hold my interest though... it's an end of the world scenario. and there's a teenage girl. and the rest of her family dies. and so it's just her and the cat. i'm not going to say she has asperger's but she'll have a couple of aspie-ish traits. luckily, one of her special interests from age 9-12 was fear of a zombie apocalypse. so she has some survival skill knowledge. her whole focus in life becomes keeping the cat alive. she's terrified other people might try to kill and eat the cat out of hunger. she decides she needs more people to help her. so she starts collecting children. younger children that she can easily overpower. she teaches them what plants are safe to eat. and they help her catch lizards to feed the cat. (the cat's front paws are declawed, so it can't fend for itself. plus she's afraid to let it run around free. plus it keeps getting sunburned.) she wears the cat like a baby. so then the girl and her knife wielding child army have to try and survive and rebuild civilization, which is pretty hard for her since she was never a people-person before. but she has to learn social skills or die. and then of course at some point there will be a boy and he will be older. and a threat. and also cute. and she'll have to figure out what to do about him.
i need names for the girl and the cat. i can't write people until they have the right name.