11/14/07

Bad pink! Under analyze better, you monkey!

So of course I hear, "YOU OVER ANALYZE!" pretty constantly. Because apparently, too much thinking is a bad thing especially if you let others know. The vast, blind, drooling people-majority achieve their smug average-supremacy by having a trick in their brain that allows them to function without any thought. Like animal instinct. But some humans (me) are that poor monkey that got dyed pink by some mean researcher and then thrown in with the other monkeys and ripped apart. Except for humans have jail, so most pink-monkey-humans do not get to REAL die, just slow die from very teeny bites and meanness.

Now, this is not too special because everyone has a sad story, so you are not suppose to talk about it because that is complaining and it is bad to think about yourself too much because that is being selfish or self-centered or both. And I know that rule. But... it is very hard to know what to do. Like with over analyzing. Because... I can't know what is in anyone elses brain, so I am my only frame of reference. And even with lots of thinking to find the clues, and careful attention to TV dramas and psychology texts... i still don't really get how to stop thinking.

I mean, I know not to bring it up. And not ask too many questions... but then... i still don't know what to DO or how to ACT. My brain just gets kind of paralyzed and can't DO. Not just sometimes, but with pretty much every question and situation i have to deal with.

Like yesterday, I got asked this question:
"Hey Amanda, are you going to bed or are you going to stay up and read more?"

Now, I was flummoxed. And didn't speak for 30 seconds. And the person raised their eyebrows and laughed and said, "C'mon, its not a hard question!"

But it SO was. Because the Yes-Nos in the sentence FIGHT, because both things were not really but sort of true together, because I was going to read in bed. But, I couldn't just SAY, "I'm going to read in bed." Because that short of an answer didn't occur to me until 30 seconds into the whole confused train of thought. I really have to suspiciously unravel questions like that and they make me so ANGRY because they take so much time and why can't people talk sense and in nice black/white, yes/no phrased questions???? Because they are humans and that's just how it works.

But knowing all the right answers doesn't help them to make any more sense.

4 comments:

Gavin Bollard said...

Hi,

Nice blog, took me a while to be able to translate - but my head's in the right mode now.

I know where you're coming from with the whole weird questions thing. Best to pretend not to hear (gives you longer to think) :-)

Amanda said...

well, i am NOT literally deaf in one ear, so it makes it harder to pretend! :)

Anonymous said...

I'm loving this blog! I can soooo relate to you saying you still don't know how to stop thinking. I couldn't have said it better myself. But do we really want to stop thinking? I do! ... But sometimes I don't! It's so black and white...25% the time it's a gift, and 75% the time it's an evil curse!!!

Zach Lassiter said...

Loved Your Blog! Its cool that more aspies are coming out of the woodwork of 1s and 0s on the internet!